Hang Up on Your Brain

Someone leaked my phone number to a world of telemarketers. In all honesty it was probably me, because I have the technological capabilities of a dumber-than-average goldfish. I’m sure I put my number on some form somewhere that said in small print, “Yes, I would like everyone who would like to sell anything on earth to contact me.”

But this is OKAY, friends, because I am developing an important skill: hanging up on people.

Not in a rude way, of course. Just something like, “I’m not interested…no, thank you for your time, but I’m still not interested… Actually, this isn’t a great time for me… Well, um, I’d prefer you don’t call back later, because I still won’t be interested then… Okay but really I have to go so I hope you have a great day but please don’t call this number again bye!”

CLICK

Now I’m going to make a metaphor out of telemarketers (never thought you’d see that, did you?). Brace yourself. *cracks my knuckles*

phone

All people, but especially mentally ill people, need to get a lot better at hanging up on our brains. Because I don’t know about you, but my brain tries to sell me an awful lot of crap that I don’t need. Too often, I keep listening way past the part where I should hang up on it.

Example:

Ring ring!

Me: Yes, hello?

Brain: Hi. I’m calling to inform you that you’re basically worthless.

Me: Oh, that’s kind of harsh. Are you sure I’m not worth anything?

Brain: Yep. Definitely sure. You’re a waste of the earth’s oxygen.Β 

Me: But wait, I thought maybe I was helpful to my family that one time when-

Brain: Nope, not helpful. They’d probably be better off without you.

Me: Now hold on…they say they love me!

Brain: They’re just saying that. They probably feel bad for you because you’re such a frickin nutter.

And then this internal conversation keeps going on, when really it should have gone like this:

Ring ring!

Me: Hello?

Brain: Hi. I’m calling to inform you that you’re basically worthless.

Me: Sorry, not interested.

CLICK

I’ve been trying this recently, and it’s been surprisingly helpful. I know the negative tracks that my brain likes to follow, and when I feel myself getting sucked into one of those familiar spirals, I’ve been literally thinking, “CLICK.” Then I immediately have an alternative track that I start thinking about or busy myself doing something else so that my annoying telemarketer brain can’t keep trying to convince me of things that are unhealthy.

That might be super weird, but hey – my blog, my rules. It’s been working for me, so I thought I’d share it in case it could help any of you.

What negative messages is your brain trying to sell you? You know the ones – the ones that start as a niggling thought in the back of your mind and end with you on the couch eating ice cream straight out of the carton while you binge watch a show you don’t even like. THOSE ones. Start hanging up on them as soon as they start.

CLICK.

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11 thoughts on “Hang Up on Your Brain

  1. Me, I just swear at them and hang up, it’s surprisingly liberating. I don’t do it to the uni kids raising funds, just the guys who are pretending to be from Revenue Canada. At least, I hope they’re pretending.,,

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You crack me up but that’s a great comparison.

    Also- I used to do telemarketing- no- no-don’t cyber hang up on me. I was actually the person that called you and gave you free HBO and crap when you were a cable customer already- but speaking from that perspective- just hang up. Feel free to say No Thanks or Take me off your list and don’t call back please – and then just hang up. Trust me- this is better. If you linger they are obligated to at least TRY to overcome objections. It’s a waste of their time as much as yours. I always appreciated the No Thanks Click. Then I was on to the next person. You listening to me and being polite while having zero intention of buying – while well intended- is keeping me from my next potential sale. Speed is what they need. No- click- next person: so don’t yell insults and slam the phone but talk right over the top of him or her and hang up: you are doing both of you a favor. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for that advice! That’s so good to know! I always felt like hanging up on people was super rude, but I’ve never heard the “other side of the story.” So thanks for letting me know, and I think I’ll start doing that. If I feel rude, I’ll just be like, “No, Shannon said it’s fine.” πŸ™‚

      Like

  3. I like this method of hanging up on your brain 😁 I also am getting better at hanging up on actual telemarketers. I got an Apple Watch so my new method is to just kind of start shouting sorry I can’t hear you, I’m on my watch, take me off your list, bye! πŸ˜†

    Liked by 1 person

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