Dear Random Girl in the Coffee Shop, I Don’t Like You

I’m sitting in my usual coffee shop, working on work, but the conversation taking place next to me is so intriguing that I can’t focus.  I completely stopped typing and sat here silently listening to them for a minute, but now I feel like I should type something.  Therefore, goodbye work and HELLO BLOG.

The couple didn’t even notice when I stopped typing.  I’m maybe three feet from these people, but I’m alone and with a laptop.  I’m invisible.

The girl has long dark hair that she plays with every time she laughs nervously.  She’s overdressed for a coffee shop and wearing a lot of makeup.  The guy is wearing a gray hoodie with a white t-shirt hanging out from underneath it.  I think she hopes this is a date, but I don’t think he does.

They had the “I can’t believe I haven’t seen you since graduation” conversation, so I know they’re old friends who haven’t seen each other in around a decade.

She was supposed to get married this summer – July 16 – but she broke it off.  This is when I started listening.  Why did you break off your wedding, make-up girl?  Why are you already trying to meet up with old flames?

WELL.  She didn’t break off the wedding at first.  They first postponed it to next summer, but then she called it off altogether.  Do you want to know why?  Hmmmmm?

Because he had bipolar disorder.

I kid you not, bloggosphere.  This is really what she said.  That’s the part where I went from casually eavesdropping to abandoning typing altogether.  Apparently he had an episode that landed him in psychiatric inpatient, and he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.  She was going to go visit him, but then she didn’t.  This made me conclude that she is a bitch.

That’s probably unfair, since I know next to nothing about this girl, but I know that her fiance was in the hospital and she decided she didn’t want to go see him.  Then she subsequently dumped him.  So actually, I retract my former statement.  I do know enough about her to call her a bitch.

I know that handling a spouse with a mental illness is a challenge.  I know.  But to bolt as soon as he was diagnosed?  I mean, to not even give him a chance to figure out meds and stuff?  That hurts me on behalf of him.  She said she had to “look out for herself.”  Fine.  That’s fine.  I suppose that she hadn’t made her vows yet…she still had freedom to leave.  It just hurts.  Why is the word “bipolar” scary enough to make you leave, girl in the coffee shop?  His brain works differently than yours, but there are some awesome aspects to that too.  He can probably love you more deeply than an average human can.  He probably has other parts of his brain that work great – is he amazingly creative?  Is his memory exceptional?  He has strengths too, girl in the coffee shop.  If you couldn’t see that, then maybe you didn’t deserve him.

She’s currently lamenting the fact that he got to keep the dog.  I’m glad he did, girl in the coffee shop.  Maybe your dog will stick by him even though you wouldn’t.

Her “date” keeps saying things such as “what time do you need to get home?” or “I should probably go smoke soon…”  He’s clearly not into this coffee date, but she’s acting super into him.  I’m vindictively happy about this.  She’s a jerk, dude in the coffee shop.  Don’t give her a chance.

I have to go home now and leave this annoying girl to her coffee and her uninterested man.  I hope she one day finds the kind of love that won’t be shaken by a tiny word like “bipolar.” True love doesn’t run away, but her coffee guy is totally going to.

4 thoughts on “Dear Random Girl in the Coffee Shop, I Don’t Like You

  1. You know what? You’re totally right, and I apologize. I was not being considerate when I wrote that. I was angry. I didn’t realize how it might come off sounding to other people, and you’re right that fat does not equal ugly. Thanks for bringing the issue to my attention, because I need to be careful not to be petty just because other people are. Also, I’m sorry for the struggles you’ve had, and I’m exceedingly sorry for any setbacks my thoughtless comment caused. That is never, never the intent of my posts. I’ve edited the post’s content, and I hope you can accept my apology! 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, sweetie, no worries. I read your blog regularly, so, like I said, I know your heart, so I knew it wasn’t your intent, which is why I mentioned it. If I thought you were a bitch who meant that, I would have just stopped returning to your blog.
      So, no worries, friend. No damage done. Just a moment of discomfort before realizing this wasn’t what you meant to convey.
      But, that being said, yeah, that girl was being a bitch. You were completely on point for the rest of the post.


  2. What a bitch. This makes my blood boil, even if I don’t know the full story.
    I’m glad he got to keep the dog, too. He deserves that unconditional love… which a dog can give… and that girl, obviously, can not. UGH.


  3. You realize, of course, that she did both of them a favor, right? I am forever comparing mental illness to diabetes. It is potentially fatal of you totally ignore it and don’t treat it. It can take some time. There is an adjustment period. So put this into that that frame of reference. Pretend this man was diabetic and she was like “I’m outta here.” would that be bitchy? Yup. Sure would. Just like her ditching him because of a bipolar diagnosis is bitchy. The alternative, however, is worse. He would still be dealing with this illness alone, but he would have her negativity and ignorance to deal with as well. If she isn’t willing to learn about the disease, research it, talk to his doctors, talk to him etc, NOW she sure as hell isn’t going to be any help to him going forward. She will, however, be an obstacle. So I guess maybe she wasn’t being a bitch. Maybe she was being self aware enough to know she could only be an additional burden on this man. Let’s hope that’s what it was. Let’s hope it wasn’t her being horribly selfish, but instead being selfless. Yeah, I know, probably not. But for better or worse, in sickness and in health? She clearly wasn’t ready to take that vow and if bi polar makes her run for the hills imagine what would happen when his hair got thin or he ever needed her to care for him for an extended period of time. Bitch or not, he is so much better off alone than he is with someone that isn’t willing to go the distance.


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