Wal-Mart Doors Can’t Tell Me What To Do

I have independence issues.  The fist full sentence I said as a toddler was “I’ll do it myself.”  Seriously.  That’s probably where it all started… *lies down on a therapy couch to discuss these issues*

Having a mental illness (or any serious illness) tends to rob people of independence. If I think a train is about to crash through my wall and I’m running away in panic…yeah, someone’s going to have to help me out with that.  If I’ve got a stubborn brain tumor that keeps growing even though it has way overstayed it’s welcome in my head…I’m going to need help with that too.  Hand over the drugs because I can’t, in fact, shrink it myself.  I’ve tried to Jiminy Cricket or Cinderella this sucker and dream with all my heart that it will go away…but DISNEY LIES.

Anyway, I think because of all of my medical crap and my loose grip on reality, I am always fighting to feel like a normal, respected human.  Maybe I’m even fighting to respect myself.  *puts arm on head dramatically as I lounge on the therapy couch*  The other day, I think I went a little too far.

I was walking out of Wal-Mart.  The sign on the door said “DO NOT EXIT THROUGH THIS DOOR.”  My honest-to-blog thought was, “Eff you, Wal-Mart.  You can’t tell me what to do.  It’s a DOOR.  I’ll go through any door I please!”  It’s not like it was a secret door to an employees only section; it was a clear automatic door leading to outside.  There is no reason why I shouldn’t have been allowed to use that door.  Wal-Mart was just trying to keep me down!  One more reason to hate Wal-Mart!

So I walked through the door.  No sirens went off, and no one stopped me.  I simply walked through, and I was outside.  Then I thought, “HA!  See, Wal-Mart?  You can’t control me!  I WILL DO WHATEVER I WANT!”  I felt jubilant.  I felt triumphant.  Then I felt like a complete weirdo and thought, “Holy wow, I AM crazy.”

Maybe life is about the little things…  I can’t avoid taking pills, I can’t avoid my tumor, but I can stick it to Wal-Mart.  I can be independent and rebellious on tiny things, and if that helps me avoid being rebellious on bigger things, then I say whatever.  Bring on the wrong door.

11 thoughts on “Wal-Mart Doors Can’t Tell Me What To Do

  1. love it. my current rebellion is having overdue library books. which – like your defiance of the wal-mart door – is such a small rebellion that it would scarcely matter to anyone else. i’m deleting those overdue notices. you’re defying that ‘do not exit’ door. we’re hardly revolutionaries, but we’re having minor victories just the same. they count!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. LOL… last night, my landlord came to collect payment for a light that all residents chip in for. I had money less than three feet to my left, and I said “I’ll bring it up in a bit” simply because I didn’t want to do what she asked me to do. :/ “I do it myse’f” was a very common phrase for me, too.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m with ya, sista! Our McDonalds has a sign at the drive through saying “Stay off your phone during the drive through”, which of course, only makes me pick up my phone. You are not the boss of me.

    I went to see a friend in the hospital recently and she was in ICU. They told me I couldn’t go see her and I went up to that floor anyway. There was a sign that said “No admittance beyond this point”. I just ignored it and went to her room. No one said anything!

    Let’s be rebels forever, OK?


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