This Squirrel and I Refuse to Do This Day

I got home from work today, dropped all of my crap on the couch where it isn’t supposed to go, and went to check the mail.  It was only bills and a flyer from some political dude who wants me to vote for him in November.  To that dude: it’s April.  Asking for my vote in April means you’re an on-the-ball overachiever type, so I don’t like you.  I am making a mental note not to vote for you because you were harassing me six months before I prefer to be politically harassed.

I let the dogs outside and then put some meat in the microwave to defrost for dinner.  The digital green numbers told me I had twelve minutes and forty-seven seconds before my meat would be ready.  That seemed quite specific, but I wasn’t about to argue with my microwave.

Okay, twelve minutes and forty-seven seconds.  I considered what I could do with this time chunk.  I could probably do the dishes, except that I don’t like doing dishes.  I could put some laundry in, but that would mean going upstairs and scavenging around to find all of my dirty clothes. I could take a shower, but then I’d have to leave my hair all wet and towel-wrinkled.  Everyone knows you have to have time to dry your hair or taking a shower is practically pointless.  I could clean the dining room, but…umm…the dining room looked very content the way it was.

Finally I went to the window seat in my living room.  One of the walls in my living room is covered completely in (full) built-in bookshelves, and it has a window seat carved out in the middle.  It’s my favorite place in the whole world.  I curled up with a pillow on my seat and looked out the window.  I was going to take a quick break before getting back to my chores (Which I was FOR SURE going to get back to, because come on – I had almost thirteen minutes.  It was fine to take a two-minute break).

I watched a squirrel across the street doing squirrel things (I’m not sure exactly what they do all day…mostly swish their tails around and try to dodge cars).  He climbed partway up a tree and then decided against it and came back down.  He scampered across the street to our yard and climbed up on our fence.  He stood on the fence, alert for a moment, and then must have decided, “Forget it.  I’m over this day.”  This is what he did:


This squirrel was inspirational.  I thought, “You know what, squirrel?  I’m not going to do this day either!”  So I watched him, and he watched me, and we were mutually lazy for a little while when all of a sudden the microwave pinged.

I about fell off of my window seat.  It had already been twelve minutes and forty-seven seconds!?  That was impossible!  Sure enough, my meat was done.  Because I’d already defrosted the meat, I went ahead and made dinner.  I went back to check on the squirrel at some point, but he was gone.

Now it’s almost bedtime.  I didn’t do the dishes, I didn’t do my laundry, the dining room is still messy, and I haven’t even showered yet…which I should probably actually do…

Nope.  Channeling my inner lazy squirrel.  I can shower in the morning.  It’s a “lay on the fence” kind of day.  Trees will still be standing tomorrow.  There will still be cars to dodge.  This squirrel and I are bucking the system and taking the night off.

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