She Finally Gets Me

I hate how therapists are trained to dig up a bunch of dirt from your past.  It’s psychological paleontology.  They tend to find the stuff that makes you want to scream, “I WAS DOING A REALLY GOOD JOB OF FORGETTING ABOUT THAT!  Let’s not talk about THAT stuff.”  But that’s the paleontological equivalent of stumbling upon a T-Rex skeleton, and they get all excited that they found the cause of some crazy problem you have.

Of course, that’s the exact kind of stuff that you need to “process” with a therapist.  Once again, I’m still waiting for the certificate of completion that says certain events in my life have been fully “processed,” but I’m not holding my breath.  I’m just paying a lot of money to talk about things I would really like to forget.  Interesting economical choice, me.

This past week, we were talking about a topic I hate talking about.  It was about a guy who messed me up pretty bad (which, I’m sorry, is the most cliche girl problem of all time.  MY LIFE IS A CLICHE.  I don’t like that.  Mental note: process this.  Whatever that means).  My favorite part of this therapy session came when my therapist said, “Well, with a lot of people, I would have them talk as if the person was sitting in this chair,” (she motioned to the empty chair next to me), “and I would have them say what they would want to say if the person was here listening to them.”

I wrinkled my nose.  “Umm…are you going to make me do that?”

“No,” my therapist said, “because I know you wouldn’t do it.  Or you would do it while actually thinking it was super strange and not get anything out of it.”

Peeerrrrfect.  My therapist and I are finally starting to understand each other.  I’ll talk about topics I don’t like, and she’ll stop doing crazy stuff to make me process said topics.  Fabulous.  Talking to invisible people would not help the “I’m not crazy” vibe I’m trying to achieve here.

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4 thoughts on “She Finally Gets Me

    • Thanks so much!! That really means a lot for two reasons:
      1. You are a fantastic writer, so that’s a big compliment.
      2. I was just talking to my husband about the fact that I was nervous my meds would make me a bad writer. I thought I was losing my “zing.” It meant a lot to hear that someone still likes to read what I write. I guess I’ll keep taking my meds then. 😉

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  1. She IS finally getting you! That’s great. And it kind of sounds like *she’s* processing out loud with you about how to best help you. It sounds like she’s trying to think outside her therapy comfort-box, but isn’t quite there yet. She knew talking to an empty chair wouldn’t work, but didn’t have another option.

    My therapist follows my lead on what we talk about. She didn’t probe into my history. Instead, she waited until details came up in our conversations. Then, we “unpacked” them. That’s been really useful–only dealing with “the guys that really messed ME up” when trust issues come up NOW. Maybe that’s something your therapist could ease up on–and trust YOU to know what needs attention in your sessions.

    Liked by 1 person

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